The scene changes and I walk on water. The Romanian Secret Service is on to me. And it has nothing to do with jewels. Do they see me? Does anyone? “You don’t know me at all” says the chocolate-eyed girl selling flowers as I clumsily strum my air-guitar.

The green goo itches, I sweat. Someone bites me, a child cries. I don’t care. Because I care so much that I can’t allow myself to. The crazy lady wants to shave my head so the greys don’t show as the sun burns an “L” into my forehead through a rip in the curtain of my revolting narcissism. I wake up with only the pretension of manliness stifling the scream that is forming at the back of my throat.  Stockholm. My personal Paris. My brawling love, my loving hate. 

If there is one thing to remember about 2011 it is that I remember very little. Such is the pace of my life. Less time to reflect, outthink, outwit and outsmart the opposition. A delightful reliance on my trusted lieutenants to keep the show running. My last blog published to the wider public was one about rediscovering the cavalier attitude of a little boy homing in on his first love. Let this one then be an ode to the joy of Your virtues, those virtues that humble me every day of our journey together. To You who touched my life, made it worth living in 2011.

Patience is a virtue that I frequently deride as the vice of people who do not realize that the future is now. But without it you would hardly tolerate my arrogant certainty, my continuously preaching cadence and my posturing visions of several uncertain futures. The year has been one of sowing seeds, spreading the word, believing and making believe, visualizing the rewards that still seem so far away. The beauty of a piece of drama lies in its temporality. The beauty of a vision lies in its long term appeal. Patience is the sole and laces of the shoes that take us down the road of temptation and choice towards our dreams.

If patience is what is required to keep both eyes firmly on the horizon of dreams then your Productivity is the wind that fills the sails of our boat. It is the steadying hand on the helm, the stabilizer, compass and keel in one. It is your productivity that keeps our promises.

Passion  is what we are made of. It is the win and conquer all of the battle for our dreams, the crown jewel in our collection of game changers. It is the virtue that gives us wings, the only virtue that allows us to conquer adversity and change the world. It makes the lows lower and the highs so much higher. It is the common denominator, the glue that holds together a team unique in its diversity. It is what defines you, defines us as a team. And it is the most important virtue of all.

Take a moment to consider your journey in our organization in 2011. Think about what you have achieved. Month by month. Think about how you have grown. These thoughts should fill you with joy and confidence for 2012. For when I think about you I feel honoured, confident – and proud to be working with you.

Thank You!

This is a manifesto for adding a little light to the daily grays and the occasional blacks. This is about embracing the guy we always wanted to be. The guy we saw ourselves as – before the mother-in-law side of our daily routines hit us in the back of the knees. The guy who acknowledges the bad, understanding the lessons they teach without dwelling on them. This blog is also a call to embrace the inner child. The boy of fifteen who spends the week agonizing over how to ask a girl out. The young man who makes a heart out of tea-lights for a woman – with a high probability of facing ridicule, rejection or angry fathers, brothers and boyfriends. A celebration of his boldness, his cavalier way of throwing himself into battle and picking himself up the stronger for the experience after being unhorsed.

The times for feeling the exhilarating flutter of butterflies in your stomach are few and far between in an adult’s life. Not being able to sleep on Christmas night. The restless wait for the arrival of a favourite uncle. Your mouth going dry and being unable to eat because the girl you have secretly fancied forever smiles at you. Cynics call it growing up. But what of all that is lost? What of the unrivalled creativity and dedication that you used to put into the perfect date? What about the passion and effort you put into “coincidentally” meeting someone in a café? We spend all our time optimizing, agonizing and planning. We get outraged twenty times a day. We wonder about wherefore evil bankers prosper, stuffing their bosses with gold while eating little children for breakfast. We worry about all the things we don’t have rather than enjoying what we do have. And we spend very little time on the most exquisite and sharp blade in our drawer: ourselves. We take less and less risks. We optimize creativity away, playing it safe and forgetting that the journey really is the destination. We play it by the book because we worry about not conforming…to the rules we write for ourselves.

Take a deep breath and remember WHAT you used to stand for. Take another breath and think about HOW you wish to stand. Then be BOLD what you stand for. Enter the game and play it like you used to. Take the thrill of the hunt, the contagiousness of a laugh, the rush of adrenaline from team sports and incorporate them into your day. Go into the next meeting with your values out on your sleeve and your purpose in your smile. Read that presentation you were working on during the week on a Sunday in the sun sipping a cocktail. Think about the feel of it. The style. Then make it bold. Make it you. Inject the urgency, the passion, the fun back into your daily routines. Make them a part of all the pieces of the colourful mosaic that is you; the golden stitching in the artful tapestry that you are going to be.

I want to be at the top of the ladder. I want to be top dog. The alpha wolf. The boss. Someone who makes decisions rather than someone who has to live with decisions that others make. There, I’ve said it. And I am not alone – I am in fact surrounded by people with similar ambitions. But our dedication – and often, ultimately our success – is measured by what we have to give up in order to achieve our goals. But maybe we do not spend enough time thinking about whether we should really be allowed to lead? A lot of people in leadership positions manage to get there because of (un)lucky coincidences, cruel twists of fate, because they are the loudest people in the room when it matters etc.  I want to lead but should I be allowed to? I want to win but at what cost? And should I read Machiavelli and Sun Tzu or rather Paulo Coelho on my way to unqualified success? This blog is an introduction to my thoughts about a consuming hunger for success, about the increasing (marginal) price of every step up the ladder of leadership success and about self doubts and regrets. I work on several interesting projects with a diverse, ambitious and flexible team. But do they like to follow my lead or do they do so because they have to. Do I motivate others or do I bully them while misguidedly believing that it is true leadership by example I provide. I want to lead by example. But what if no-one wants to aspire to the grotesque parody of leadership that is my example? Do people buy into my vision or is it just too hard to say no to me? Should I explain my motivations in more depth or is my enthusiasm really as contagious as I like to think it is? Does the fact that I am the only one excited about my vision mean that it is useless because no-one else cares? And then there is the team. Brilliant minds, great professionals. I told one of my most promising retainers to buzz off and leave me alone in a flash of irrational, red-hot rage. I had no right to be annoyed about her private decisions and the only reason I was, was because I was too close to her. This then leads me to my final question forming the base of my pyramid of doubt. Does being close to my team members make me a better leader? Or does it make me too involved to see the big picture? Do I need to understand them to lead them or should I focus on the goal, the strategy, the big picture and assume that as long as the cause is clear, the troops will march to war singing?

I have no answers to these questions. But I do have great mentors. This is also a blog about ways to keep sane amidst it all – about shining examples of leadership in a twisted world of office politics and the self-fulfilling prophecies of corporate greed. I have the privilege of working with some true leaders. Here is some of the best advice I have received from them. Simple it may be, but it makes all the difference in the world. May I one day become worthy of their teachings.

Keep things in perspective! What would happen if you didn’t go to work one morning? Unless you’re a doctor about to perform life-saving surgery, whether you’re in the office or not does not make much of a difference. Makes you think, doesn’t it?

Avoid clutter. If things are on your to-do list, you should do them sooner rather than later. Keep your desk and you laptop free of clutter. Newspaper articles, leaflets, brochures etc – how many of those fleetingly interesting morsels of information will you really go back to in the future? 1 in 10? Procrastination is one of the biggest time-stealers.

See the boy inside. Avril Lavigne sings about recognizing the potential in people rather than judging them by their appearance in SK8ter Boy (“I saw the man that boy could be, he is more than meets the eye, see the soul that lives inside”). In difficult negotiations it is important to take the opposite approach and see the boy inside the man. When negotiations hit a wall and people seem irrational about issues close to their heart, try to understand the “boy’s” emotional motivations. If you can empathize with the underlying fears of the person, chances are that he will listen to you and you will find common ground. I recently hit an impasse in a negotiation with a client. I found out that he was bullied in school and that my boss and co-negotiatior had been the guy’s boss for years. It turned out that he did everything in his power to underline that he was now the buyer (i.e. the one calling the shots). Feeding him the necessary information so that he was the one to come up with all the solutions carried the day.

If there was one insight above others in the week-end’s games, it was the ridiculousness of the popular discussion revolving around inadequate leadership and management as the catalysts for the current economic crisis. Articles in the mould of “how to lead in turbulent times” and “be a good boss in a bad economy” started filling magazines and newspapers from the Financial Times to local self-help publications somewhere in late 2008. And they still keep coming. Many reputable publications have re-cycled a plethora of useful and interesting yet dated leadership ideas and theories to fit the current air of malaise and moral high-horsedness. Basic leadership theories corseted to fit the current sexy topic of what to do and how to do it when the world as we know it is coming to an end only highlight one thing: there are only two types of leadership  – good leadership and bad leadership –  regardless of the economic times. One hindsight-heavy accusation levelled at business academia is that coursework does not prepare students for the bad times. It is my belief that crisis management cannot be taught from books. The foundation for successful leadership in bad times is the same as for an economic boom. The rude good health of an economy or a company may, however, paper over the cracks of bad leadership.

So, to return to my earlier football allegory: had the weather been perfect, the opposition poor and everyone including myself in top form we may have won and a superficial analysis would have yielded a typical football commentators conclusion: they won so they must have gotten it right. Never mind the fact that we would have won despite and not because of my touchline antics.  Bad leadership is simply easier to detect in hard times. Good leaders are always forged in the fires of hardship. It is imperative that a leader works out an efficient and effective leadership model during the good times and uses that model as a solid foundation (recognized by his followers) to plant his feet on during times of turmoil. Once the inevitable crisis hits the leader then does not have to re-invent his philosophy (as some articles seem to suggest) but can rather focus on how to stick to solid structures and values during more demanding times. The following three guiding principles are at the basis of good leadership. They hold true regardless of the economic climate and are especially useful during times of economic uncertainty.

Control: People embark on careers to achieve control, knowledge and power. The whole point of spending your best years grafting away is to achieve outcomes and have impact. People may not have a say in what is going to happen. If possible give people back some control and ownership of their roles by letting them decide how it is going to happen. Keep up a drumbeat of accomplishments and other positives and encourage your team members to do the same. Remind everyone that you are still great as a collective – never mind the ugly quarterly figures or being 3-0 down to the annoying bastards from Sweden. What your team needs now like Eskimos need more snow is finger-wagging and pointing out the obvious: if your opposition got one over you, because your team was making bad decisions don’t rub it in. They got on the team initially because they are excellent at what they do. You should trust them to spot the obvious and draw the right conclusions.

Empathy: Be ready to explain painful adjustments and the rationale underlying them over and over again. Listen to your team’s concerns and ask for opinions. Signal that you understand worries and the need for clarity about roles and task/project ownership. Although explaining things for the umpteenth time may seem tedious because you probably feel you explained it well the previous n-1 times, it is imperative that you take the time to explain changes as many times and as thoroughly as necessary. Patiently explaining your reasoning will reassure your team that you actually believe what you say and that you can be expected to act consistently to implement the decision.

Transparency: Your girlfriend/boyfriend may like surprises. Your employees do not. People do not want to be surprised by changes at work, no matter how clear the benefits of a given change are to you. Communicate openly, consistently and without omitting unpleasant information like drops in revenue or dropping someone to the bench.

The day after in question duly arrived on a sunny April morning in Stockholm. Our team of 20 had just manned a Project Management Office to see an international music competition succeed with minimum funds, fuss and preparation. An incredibly intense five days filled with incidents and accidents, laughter and tears, creativity, great victories and bitter disappointment had drawn to an end. This day was the day after – a day of regret of both words left unspoken and of actions too hastily taken. The day after the goodbyes and the empty yet well-meant promises of keeping in touch. Our team of brave volunteers had been spread thinner than ever before by the ever-growing demands of our competition. The atmosphere was thick with stress and emotion. It is under such circumstances that competent people are forged into leaders willing to stand up and be counted. There is no way of controlling all the dynamics of an event that combines the combustible mix of intercultural conflict, youthful exuberance and the well-honed double edges of competitive instinct and great expectations. This is why today’s insight pertains to the subtle strands of leadership empathy that permeate an organisation operating under relentless pressure and without a moment to catch a collective breath. An event, especially one that includes the emotional requirements of a competition, is a great sandbox to study the complexities of human behaviour in a high-powered, high-stress environment. I will focus on the various character types typical in dynamic teams and as witnessed during the build-up and execution of the event in question.

The diplomat

People have a fascinating tendency to exhibit their true colours when they are stressed out. In the build-up to a major event there is usually a predictable amount of nagging, shouting, crying, cajoling and hand-wringing. Egos clash, heated arguments break out and misunderstandings abound. The diplomat is a key player in terms of holding a team together. Tireless and empathic, the diplomat spends endless hours mediating, discussing and helping to settle disputes. Empathy and a willingness to listen to all sides of a story that would bore a more impatient customer to tears make the diplomat indispensable to a team under pressure.

The workhorse

Not great at delegating, the workhorse leads by example. The workhorse prefers to do things herself. She has a tendency to become impatient with behaviour that she perceives as lazy or tardy. Things need to be done and they need to be done now! And the only way the work will get finished, so the workhorse believes, is if she does it all herself. The workhorse often trumpets that she does not need anyone’s recognition. Read: remember to make sure the workhorse’s efforts are recognised and appreciated by the rest of the team – regardless of whether the workhorse’s “if I don’t do it, no-one will” attitude is rubbing everyone else the wrong way.

The dreamer

The dreamer has a tendency to day-dream on the job or to come up with out-of-the-box approaches that are impossible to implement. A master of adding the icing on the cake, the dreamer excels at finding creative solutions to issues and adding a bit of gloss to an otherwise boring task or product. Too many routine tasks will frustrate the dreamer and inhibit his creativity.

The pragmatist

The pragmatist is the one who writes notes when instructions are handed out. He is the one, who everyone else asks for timetables and instructions or borrows money off. The pragmatist usually has good marks in college or school. He does not like disorganized ventures and prefers to complete tasks in an orderly fashion. The pragmatist completes boring assignment quickly and without complaint because he understands their necessity. The pragmatist, like the workhorse with their no-nonsense, minimum fuss styles are an essential part of every team. Someone has to do all the boring stuff!

The Expert

The expert is great at doing a highly specialised task and would prefer it, if he was left alone to pursue perfection in his chosen subject. Often intolerant of individuals with a limited understanding of his area of expertise, the expert is best deployed to tackle issues concerning his narrow field of choice. Fine examples of experts on a team are tech guys or designers.

The trusted lieutenant – the art of riding shotgun

There is one function that no organisation in general and no leader of men in particular can live without: every leader, every manager, every innovator and commander needs someone riding shotgun for him. The trusted lieutenant is a close confidant of the leader. Someone who masters the art of wearing his unswerving loyalty and trust of the leader out on his sleeve for all to see while never compromising on his most important role of being the leader’s greatest critic. Someone who troubleshoots and questions all those phantasmagorical ideas that many charismatic leaders of men seem to come up with whenever they are in full flow. The second in command is often a no-nonsense warhorse, who understands the emotional fragility of the man in the limelight and understands that he needs to be friend and critic, co-worker and manager all at the same time. For when push comes to shove a good leader has to focus on the human aspect of the enterprise at hand, making speeches, leading, directing and exuding confidence. Great leaders are often celebrated for making everything look easy. But what seems like a Midas touch to the casual observer is simply the facade of a well-oiled machinery at work. It is the second in command’s leadership behind the scenes that allows the leader to glide through his responsibilities with swan-like elegance. And if the swan is an apt depiction of the leader, then the swan’s furiously paddling webbed feet beneath the surface are a good metaphor for the second in command’s work. If the feet stop paddling, the swan is dead in the water (excuse the pun).